1. I wish you would not be afraid to mention my
baby. The truth is just because you never saw my baby doesn’t mean he
or she doesn’t deserve your recognition
2. I wish that if we did talk about my baby
and I cried you didn’t think it was because you have hurt me by
mentioning my baby. The truth is I need to cry and talk about my baby
with you. Crying and emotional outbursts help me heal
3. I wish that you could talk about my baby
more than once. The truth is if you do, it reassures me that you
haven’t forgotten and that you do care and understand.
4. I wish you wouldn’t think that I don’t
want to talk about my baby. The truth is I love my baby and need to talk
about him or her.
5. I wish you could tell me you are sorry my
baby has died and that you are thinking of me. The truth is that it
tells me you care.
6. I wish you wouldn’t think what has
happened is one big bad memory for me. The truth is the memory of my
baby, the love I feel for my baby, the dreams I had and the memories I
have created for my baby are all loving memories. Yes there are bad
memories too but please understand that it’s not all like that.
7. I wish you wouldn’t pretend that my baby
never existed. The truth is we both know I had a baby growing inside me.
8. I wish you wouldn’t judge me because I
am not acting the way you think I should be. The truth is grief is a
very personal thing and we are all different people who deal with things
9. I wish you wouldn’t think if I have a
good day I’m “over it” or if I have a bad day I am being
unreasonable because you think I should be over it. The truth is there
is no “normal” way for me to act.
10. I wish you wouldn’t stay away from me.
The truth is loosing my baby doesn’t mean I’m contagious. By staying
away you make me feel isolated, confused and like it is my fault.
11. I wish you wouldn’t expect my grief to
be “over and done with” in a few weeks, months, or years for that
matter. The truth is it may get easier with time but I will never be
12. I wish you wouldn’t think that my baby
wasn’t really a baby and it was blood and tissue or a fetus. The truth
is my baby was a human life. My baby had a soul, heart, body, legs, arms
and a face. I have seen my baby’s body and face. My baby was a real
13. My babies due date, Mothers Day,
celebration times, the day my baby died and the day I lost my baby are
all important and sad days for me. The truth is I wish you could tell me
by words or by letter you are thinking of me on these days.
14. I wish you understood that losing my baby
has changed me. The truth is I am not the same person I was before and
will never be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to get back
to “”normal” you will stay frustrated. I am a new person with new
thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and values. Please try to get to know the
real me-maybe you’ll still like me.
15. I wish you wouldn’t tell me I could
have another baby. The truth is I want the baby I lost and no other baby
can replace this baby. Babies aren’t interchangeable. Besides, you do
not know whether we have fertility problems too.
16. I wish you wouldn’t feel awkward or
uncomfortable talking about my baby or being near me. When you do, I can
see it. The truth is it’s not fair to make me feel uncomfortable just
because you are.
17. I wish you wouldn’t think that you’ll
keep away because all my friends and family will be there for me. The
truth is, everyone thinks the same thing and I am often left with no
18. I wish you would understand that being
around pregnant women is uncomfortable for me. The truth is I feel
19. I wish you wouldn’t say that it’s
natures way of telling me something was wrong with my baby. The truth is
my baby was perfect to me no matter what you think nature is saying.
20. I wish you would understand what you are
really saying when you say “next time things will be okay”. The
truth is how do you know? What will you say if it happens to me again?